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The hole in my heart is emptied out.
He is gone for good,
the one who left so long ago.
Whom I chased through women and success,
lounging like a roman à clef
above this restlessness,
collecting attributes like dried leaves,
phone calls, sugar-covered memories—
it is not the hole that hurts,
but what you put in it, how you fill it,
the grade-school grammar of your loss.
And what is left is a whiff
of emptiness, past tense, italicized,
as irrelevant as that old man on a plane
back to gay Paris. As I, too,
become beside the point to myself, free,
doomed to start again, playing chicken
with oncoming identities,
learning lines, scratching lines to try to make sense
of unmarked ground.
Source: About Time: Poems (Akashik Books 2025)
Cupid
What I want to know is
what idiot
gave that fucking blind kid
a bow and arrow?
Source: About Time: Poems (Akashik Books 2025)
Future Perfect
A sound (what is that?) reminds me
of (what? I don’t know). These days
there is so much familiarity with something
I have no experience of. Like the internets or
whatever. As if—
I passed you on 77th and Broadway
decades ago, and you smiled at me
for no (every) reason, laughed even,
then nothing (nothing?)
till now.
Et tu?
The future perfect,
insinuating into our momentarily
narrowed quotidian-like heavenly rust,
or a dumb hunch,
some beautiful-ass nonsense,
or the starting up again
of what has never been.
Source: About Time: Poems (Akashik Books 2025)
