Do you dream of losing       do you dream of the harm
to our children
          Most people don’t like to think about the
harm to our children though most people helped cover up the
harm to our children

          No amount of naps takes away the
harm to our children       no amount of precision-engineered positive outcomes
takes away the harm

to our children
          Do the children dream of the harm

to our children do the children dream
of sleep

I couldn’t leave bed the first time you kissed me hell
I could hardly kiss you back I’m nobody
now but if you wanted me I could make it work
I’m a pushover like that, a sucker for skinny boys who look gay
(remember when you told me you made out with
another man, felt dirty afterwards, never came up again)
when I was too tired to talk we watched subtitled television
I felt like a fucking Victorian child
you drew my curtains when the light hurt
you drew me how you saw me unsexy and supine
I wanted you however you wanted me but your hologram
flickered when I got too close my whole life spent
cute but not pretty, who gives a fuck (me) you read
my poems and pretended to be interested
showed me your paintings and said it pissed you off
when people compared you to Basquiat even though
he’s one of your favorites, heard from a mutual friend your new
plan is law school, last we spoke like normal people I said
my couch had your name written on it, last we spoke you said
it’s not like that, I care about you, it’s not like that, now I’m dancing
in a yellow dress that never fit me right, dancing how
I never could when you were mine, tugging
your teeth from their gums, I think
you fucked this up but I won’t know for sure
until the next time you want me (which you will even if it’s not
until you get a gig in the city or see my name at a bookstore)
the last vowel of your name raised like house lights after a show
script wasn’t great but the actors did the best they could you know