my tongue is inside nic’s asshole. they’re tugging at my hair, pushing my face into them a little. they’re telling me over and over again how much i’m theirs. when i got back to their apartment last night before our date they had just gotten out of the shower. i couldn’t stop following them around and they told me twice to sit down but i think it was obvious that they actually liked it. i’m such a puppy-girl, i said, standing behind them with my hands on their hips as they washed dishes from that morning. i love hearing nic tell me i’m theirs but eventually my jaw gets tired from eating them out and i ask them if they want to touch me. they do for a bit then make me beg to touch myself. i ask to hear all the ways i’m theirs and all the ways they want me as they rub their fingers against the sweet spot right above my asshole and i touch myself. they say i’m so theirs, i’m so theirs in bed, and i say promise? i’m all yours because you love me? and cum for them before they even have a chance to tell me.

sitting across from nic in sam class and can’t stop looking at them. also can’t make myself pay any attention to sam, or the elizabeth bishop poem we’re reading. nic is from new england, and i went to school in boston. the elizabeth bishop poem is “at the fishhouses,” and i grew up fishing with my grandfather, before my bio-mom ruined that relationship. i used to love catching silver salmon. learning to fillet them. i text nic a link to a quora question: “what should i stare at in the classroom so i’m not staring at anyone.” yesterday nic called me their gf after i came for them after i finished eating their ass. today they asked me not to do any PDA on campus and i still reflexively blew them a kiss. i had been thinking about telling them if we’re gfs i’d like to be a little less secret about it, but realized after i got a little upset that i’d only had the conversation in my head. nic came with me to print out my poems before class, and i also printed out the one where i describe putting my tongue inside of them, which they said should be the last one. i have it sitting in front of me in class.

watching a little softcore porn
everywhere i go thanks to instagram.
watching a little body
contortionist in a catsuit
vid, or a little big bouncing
tits clip. they’re pretty much all
cis women, as far as i know. they pretty
much all have big tits and an onlyfans,
except for the contortionist who,
not unlike nic, has little
titties and an ass to die for. i find
myself watching instagram
softcore porn at the stoplight, at the movies,
at the fine dining establishment. as a child i was taught to hate
sex workers but now i sometimes subscribe
to an onlyfans or buy a one-off, not
because i love sex, but because i love
the idea of it. i love the flash of a little silver
butt plug between the stripper’s ass cheeks in this
custom vid. i actually think i might be
asexual but when i was still
in more denial about this i wanted
to hire a tgirl escort. to help me
sort through my problems. i have over 100
porn tabs open on my phone and they’re mostly cis
men being pegged by cis women.