POEM OF THE MONTH

January

Returning

Discover the beauty and depth of our featured poem each month.

I've Lost the Smell of Youth

Leigh Chadwick

I'm too tired to find the stairs that lead to heaven. Still,

I think I'm doing okay. Still

steeped in lavender, l miss you still,

the morning dew on your shoulder blades and, still,

the spilled rum on the carpet, the soft yawn of the sun still

stepping over its own sighs, as I reach across the bed to taste the stale, still

mint from your tongue while somewhere, a town grows so still

it will never wake again. Don't worry, I promise this is a love poem. Still,

the chyron at the bottom of the television screen still

reads BREAKING NEWS as weeks later, bombs still

keep stealing kisses from buildings. I hear Jesus wept, but I'm pretty sure he's still

weeping. I promise this really is a love poem. Still,

I never forget to count the bullet casings still

scattered along the linoleum floor of the produce section of Kroger. Still,

I miss you so much, it's stupid. Still,

My dad was dying and then he was dead. Still,

my sister, the same. So, if I grow too quiet to be still,

please tell my daughter that sometimes a door is still

a door, and sometimes a backpack is still

a backpack, just with a bulletproof spine. Tell her, still,

sometimes all you can do is duck and be still.

Tell her my favorite history lesson still

hasn't been written, and that after everything, sometimes there is still

nothing else to say except help, please help, as I tell you yes, this is still

a love poem.

John Doe
Poet, Independent Writer

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Leigh Chadwick is the author of numerous poetry collections, including Your Favorite Poet (Malarkey Books, 2022) and Sophomore Slump (Malarkey Books, 2023). Her poetry has appeared in The Massachusetts Review, Salamander, Passages North, Identity Theory, and Pithead Chapel, among others. She is currently at work on a YA romance novel set around the Donner Party.

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Contributor’s Note

When writing poetry, I rarely play with form or give myself any sort of parameters. I am too lazy to challenge myself in that way. (This is probably why I write so many prose poems—just shove all that shit into a paragraph and then you’re done.) But when I sat down to write this, I was stuck on the word “still,” as it is something I have been desperate to achieve—some stillness in life, a quiet movement through the brush of a Tuesday morning. I wanted every line to end with “still” because that’s what I need for myself. I have not yet achieved this, but, hell, I got a pretty damn good poem out of it.

Leigh Chadwick

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Editor’s Note

A Leigh Chadwick poem that is not a prose poem is rare, and to see her experiment with formal restraint even rarer. I love this poem for constantly telling itself (and us) that it is a love poem even though we know it is so much more — her personal seamlessly reaches out to the political, her individual self rooted in the collective. Thematically, it is typical of Leigh Chadwick: longing, gun violence, war, and the fear they produce. Serious dark subjects in Leigh’s playful language become a source of delight and emotional upheaval at once: “bombs still / keep stealing kisses from buildings. I hear Jesus wept, but I'm pretty sure he's still / weeping. I promise this really is a love poem.” I love that! That every line ends with “still” and yet the poem mirrors the chaos around us is remarkable. A meditation on mortality, our desire to love and our desperation for help, this is the poem of our times.

December
 | 
Solitude

self-portrait as god holding the dead in his palms

by 

Ammara Younas

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November
 | 
Haiku

Haiku

by 

Namratha Varadharajan

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October
 | 
Fear

Asian Cowgirl Just Wants a Drink (And Maybe Also Your Body and Soul)

by 

Kimberly Ramos

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September
 | 
Fall

Late September, Poland

by 

Alisha Erin Hillam

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August
 | 
Resilience

ekphrasis x: earthenware

by 

Sodïq Oyèkànmí

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July
 | 
Summer

NIGHT MARKET

by 

Jia-Rui Cook

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June
 | 
Spiritual

RUMI’S FIELD

by 

Bella Mahaya Carter

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May
 | 
Prose Poem

PLEASURE/PRESSURE

by 

Josiah Cox

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April
 | 
Earth

ANXIOUS BEHAVIOR

by 

Jared Povanda

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March
 | 
Ghazal

Decolonization ghazal with a smartphone in my hand

by 

Tanima

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February
 | 
Love & Sex

Nisus and Euryalus at the Louvre

by 

West Ambrose

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