A man in a ‘Kafka for President’ shirt transformed into a banana peel at the museum of somber paintings because it was New Year’s Eve. Fireworks blared in the blurred background. Everyone started slipping on the banana peel. They slid around the museum of somber paintings like ice-skating Olympians in February. One man slid into a salient painting by Jean-Michel Basquiat. The painting was titled “Untitled” (1984). Luckily, a security guard managed to save the painting from doomed damage. Everyone clapped for the fast-acting security guard. He took a gentlemanly bow. The man in a ‘Kafka for President’ shirt aka the banana peel reemerged in human form at midnight at the museum of somber paintings and joined in the animated praise of the noble security guard. When the museum of somber paintings eventually closed at 3 a.m., all the paintings fell asleep except for some iconic, insomniac portraits by Francis Bacon.