Jenny Qi
A Way to Look Away
There’s a certain
vision of the American
dream. Tell me if it looks familiar:
a man and woman meet after the Revolution.
The man works hard for a golden ticket to Anywhere, America /
works hard in grad school / works hard to keep quiet / keep to
himself / works hard to pass muster / let pass indignities / pass
off as a man born with gold in his step / pass on someday /
pass down something / pass by ghosts of his old life / old home
turned unfamiliar. If he succeeds someday he will be a man
who grants passage to younger men luckier than him. All the while
the woman works hard to support his dream / now their dream /
accepts his ambitions are more reachable than hers. In her old life
she was a teacher doctor daughter / adopted her father’s
ambitions mother’s laments / dreamed she might be a writer
singer dancer / see a world she could not imagine / its vastness. In
their new life she is a wife waitress cleaner mother
settler / kicks her old wants aside to play
sidekick to the main character / the man. If he succeeds /
they succeed. If hisses and rattles like a snake. Inside a
baby kicks and wakes her from a dream. A
dream is a kind of vision tunneling toward the future / a kind
of blindness. Envision: headlights barreling through
a pitch-black tunnel. The place they come from
fades into pins of light. The place they go to
expands into light / so much light / all
light and nothing else. At the end
of the tunnel is a final stage.
When the curtains close
the shadows keep
dancing.
